Why looking after yourself isn't selfish

We've all heard the phrase:

"You can't pour from an empty cup."

It's become a bit of a cliché, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

In fact, I think it goes even deeper than that.

As women, we're often brilliant at looking after everybody else. But somewhere along the way, looking after yourself starts to feel selfish.

And I don't think it should.

We're often the ones remembering appointments.

Sorting meals.

Collecting children.

Supporting friends.

Looking after parents.

Keeping work ticking over.

Life has a way of filling every available space. And before we know it, we've become so used to putting ourselves last that it simply feels normal.

The trouble is, eventually our bodies start asking for something back.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say:

"I know I should just get on with it."

"Other people need me more."

"I'll sort myself out later."

The problem is, later has a habit of becoming months. Sometimes years.

And during that time, we become so used to carrying on that we stop noticing just how much we're asking of ourselves every single day.

One of the things I often say in my clinic is this:

When you're struggling, the people who love you often feel it too.

Not because you're responsible for everyone else. But because when you're constantly exhausted, uncomfortable or managing pain, it naturally affects how you move through your day.

Your energy.

Your patience.

Your confidence.

Your ability to enjoy the little moments.

Looking after yourself isn't selfish. It's about having enough of yourself left to enjoy your own life as well as the people in it.

Looking after yourself doesn't always mean making huge changes. Sometimes it's much simpler than that.

Sometimes it's:

asking for help

making time for yourself

going for a walk

moving your body a little more

getting support

Or simply listening to what your body has been trying to tell you. Those small acts aren't selfish. They're an investment in your own well-being. And often, they allow you to show up more fully for the people you care about, too.

Looking after yourself is not taking something away from the people we love.

It allows you to be more present with them, to have a little more energy, a little more comfort, a little more patience.

And perhaps that's one of the kindest things we can do.

Love, always

Dawn xx